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It's Chinese Take Out Time Current Viewer Counter *Free* I Love Chinese Age: 20 Gender: male Astrological Sign: Pisces Zodiac Year:: Rabbit Occupation: Soon to be NSF,Archer We Fumble With Chopsticks BK's WeI yI's sZe's SP cRaZy ArCHers ArChERy pHOtos SillyInc LulU AlVIn FizZ HuI YuN ShI JiA We Like Chinese Too
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Tuesday, April 12, 2005 A Loner's Diary this has got to be the most amnt of times i blogged.. 2 days in a row.. but cant help it.. i only blog when smth troulign me, and i must say this thing has been troubling me more than i can take it. Maturity? how long does it take for a person to reach maturity? i know u can be 18 with the mindset of a 3 year old. or vice versa. but still, is it a mere excuse to say: 'No, i am not interested in you. Get out of my life.' cos if it is, i rather take the harsh truth of life and live with it with a pinch of salt. Dont lie to me, cos it will be the last thing i do. thus i hope u will do the same.. after all, To love you means to ensure ur life long happiness. if it means with another guy, then so be it. i am prepared to let u go. 'Love comes in many forms. And i choose the hardest. Freedom.' Frankly, im perfectly ok with waiting. Just make me feel that all this waiting is worth something. It's tearing me in the inside whenever i see couples on the streets.. Or when my friends get to taste the sweetness in their own patch of heaven. And all i can do is stand aside and wish them the best, thinking when wud be my turn to taste the sweetness of this elusive thing called 'Love'. I will wait Girl. I will wait. I pray that by doing so, one day i can look back and laugh at my silly self, for even doubting my everlasting love towards u. and at that time, i hope i'll have a time machine to go back to pass a message to myself, telling myself 3 words. "It's worth it" This is a loner, signing outta his lonely diary =| Monday, April 11, 2005 A Loner's Diary Hm, now i finished exams le!!! yeah!!! so cool.. now got 7 weeks of free time heh.. getting a bit bored, so i drew up smth to help make my time worth. it's called "Operation: 6 Pack" =P hopefully by the time the hols end, ill be able to get wad i want.. Holidays is the ebst time to train up for archery, so i guess im going for every trng session this hols. must train up for next competition!!! haha.. bought Band Of Brothers VCD also.. cool show.. must watch again.. but all that isnt the main purpose for the blog at hand.. i Dont know what girls want. well, i dont know wad MY girl wants. Heck, thats not even the right termology to use.. shes not even my girlfren yet. i wish and pine everyday, but it all ends up with nothing. am i that bad as a guy? i guess i am... im hopelessly in love with someone, yet i want to do something about it. i want her to be my girl, to be there for her in everything. not just being mere friends. every time she mentions us being friends, my heart drops a million miles.. Argh.. its like a my wake up slap.. to bring me back to reality that we're mere friends. i wonder everyday why she doesnt want me. am i too fat? too obnoxious? or am i just plain too stupid for a person of such high caliber? my exams are over. but w/o this question being answered, i dont think the weight in my heart can ever be shifted.. maybe its my mood swings.. the way i've treated her the past week or so.. My exams period dear!! im sorry for treatin u like dirt and giving u the cold shoulder!!! i know im jealous when u go out with other guys! im sorry for it, and i swear ill try to change it.. argh!!! better stop thinking and go take a panodol.. damn headache acting up again.. This is a loner, signing outta his lonely diary. =( |
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